What It Is To Remember
by xKohaku
Summary: He said he'd never look back... but how can he just let go? [Oneshot][EdxWin]


**Dear Reader,**

Well, this is just a nice little One Shot on the Edo x Winrii pairing. I was pointlessly thinking of things and came up with this… so I decided to write it down. (It only took me about 30 minutes or so to write xD) Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I _do not_ own Hiromu Arakawa's 'Fullmetal Alchemist.' I just like to borrow the characters every once in a while. ;)

After the Movie - Munich, Germany.

**s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s**

It really wasn't that unusual to be in a bar, late at night, with his younger brother sitting beside him. Whenever Edward got to feeling down or just plain out discouraged, he'd go down to the Gertrude pub. He and Alphonse were still in Germany; it was late December now. Just last week Edward had turned 22 years old.

Alphonse tried talking his brother into going to see a movie or going for a walk, but Ed refused and told him he didn't feel like it. Being defeated once again, Alphonse followed his older brother to the bar. Someone had to drive him home.

Right now it was around 12:00 in the morning, but Ed wasn't paying attention to the time. Loads of things were going through his mind right now. _She… asked me to… marry her._ He still couldn't believe it. He rested his face in his hands, leaning over on his elbows, with a small glass of alcohol sitting between them.

"Brother?" Ed heard his brother's voice but was so spaced out that he didn't reply. _Why would she do that? I thought… she was happy with things how they were… _Ed shook his head.

That's right- Meredith, the young woman who he had been seeing for a few months now, actually _proposed _to him. He was shocked at the moment and couldn't say anything. How could he? "I just… need some time to think," he had said, and quickly left the restaurant where they were out eating dinner. That probably looked bad on his behalf, but at the time he didn't care. He was already sweating.

All he could think about was _her._ His father was right, even though Edward kept telling himself differently. _I didn't love her… I was never **in love**. Meredith, and Alphonse… they are my future. I have to stop dwelling on my past and **move on**._

He actually felt like crying. He didn't know why, of course, but he was fighting desperately against tears. When Edward was first sent to this side of the gate and met his father, he had said something Edward would never forget.

"You loved her, didn't you, Son?" Edward had stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking at Hohenheim in utter confusion. Hohenheim just smiled. "Sarah's daughter… you were in love with her, were you not?"

Edward's eyes widened at this. _He's talking about Winry…_After a moment of silence, Ed simply shook his head with a smile. "I don't know what you're talking about, Dad," and walked away.

And yet here he is, sitting at the bar again with his brother. He really felt pathetic. Ed was brought out of his thoughts when Al rested his hand on his shoulder, and gave it a light, comforting squeeze. "Brother… what's the matter? Please tell me, you're worrying me," he said lowly, but with concern.

Edward sat up and looked at Alphonse silently. He wiped the tears harshly from his eyes so they couldn't fall and be noticed. "I… I made a mistake, Alphonse. I made a mistake… and I don't know how to fix it." At this point Ed lowered his gaze to the counter, almost as if he were too ashamed to be seen like this.

"Oh, Ed…" Al whispered. He hated seeing his brother like this. "Is it because of Meredith? Do you not want to marry her? It's okay Brother, just talk to her…" Ed cut him short.

"No Alphonse, it's not that… I love her, I do… I think…" He sighed quietly, like he was annoyed with himself for not being able to get his words out right. He rested his face in his palms again. He laughed dryly through his nose a couple times, shaking his head. "I really am pathetic."

Al sighed quietly, "No, you're not. Now what's the matter? Just tell me." Al almost sounded impatient.

Ed lowered his hands and smiled down at the counter. His smile was cold and a bit edgy. "Al, I… I miss Winry," he said quietly. His smile fell, but his eyes never left the counter. "And we can't… go back. I don't know how to just… let go, you know? It's just hard for me to love Meredith… like I loved Winry..." He slowly let the words fall out of his mouth, then fell silent once more.

Alphonse was somewhat taken aback by his brother's words, but he smiled after a moment's pause. "Brother," Al sighed, squeezing his brother's shoulder one last time before standing up. "I think you've had enough. Let's go home."

**s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s**

Bleh. XD Please Review!!

**- Edo**


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